All I'd really like to point out is that you simply can't beat cast iron. It's heavy, it's thick, it distributes heat evenly, and it will never, EVER, wear out. Even if you forget to treat it properly and it rusts up, a good scraping with some Brillo and a layer of Crisco fixes that right up. It can be difficult to maintain (remembering to regrease it after washing for the first few uses can get annoying), but it's worth it.

The only real downside to cast-iron is that if you don't know what you're doing, everything sticks to it. On the other hand, I've never owned a "non-stick" pan that's worth it's salt. Even the vaunted Ultrex brand wears out after just a year or two, and you end up with black flecks of some metallic polymer in your food. BAD TIMES.

I'm such a dork.
- posted by Bacon Dad @ 2:21 PM |

The 13-year-old girl has a pretty face and a slight frame. But to Lonnie Grigsby, 52, her sweet appearance masks an unruly attitude.

Grigsby, who runs a mini-mart just blocks from the girl's middle school in Little Haiti, says the teenager sassed him one too many times this month.

So Grigsby took off his belt and gave the girl what he thought she needed: a "good whupping."

Nancy Joseph said she would never hit her two children, much less someone else's child.

"Kids need to be disciplined, not spanked," she said.

Brandi Nicole Nason, 20, and her boyfriend, Marshal Abram Penna, 24, of Citrus Heights, allegedly tossed a lighted bottle of gasoline through the glass front door of Nason's former stepmother's home about 9 p.m. on Christmas Day, said Hermosa Beach Police Sgt. Paul Wolcott.

Wolcott said Nason was upset because she thought her former stepmother's Christmas present was inadequate.

Drug paraphernalia was found during a search of Nason's car, police said.

A 2-year-old was running on the playground last month, as 2-year-olds do.

He banged into a railing, as 2-year-olds do.

And he got a cut on his head, as 2-year-olds do.

His mother sued the city, as parents do. The accident, she claimed, hurt "his modeling and acting career."

It’s tough news for the environmentalists, too. A hard reminder: Nature is not our friend. Nature doesn’t care. Put a museum filled with priceless artifacts on a fault line, and Nature would leave it alone for a million years – then swallow it whole without a thought.

The sales tax is the most unfair tax. Families with the lowest incomes pay the same rate as those with the highest incomes.

(Annapolis-AP) -- Maryland's Court of Special Appeals has thrown out a Washington County man's conviction for possessing of crack cocaine. The court ruled Chris Nieves was subjected to an unconstitutional strip search after he was detained by police for unrelated charges. The crack was found in his rectum.

A man in Sicily asked a friend to shoot him in the groin in the hope of making his ex-girlfriend feel sorry for him, police said on Friday.

Now everybody just say this like a mantra: "She's only 16...she's only 16...she's only 16..."
- posted by Bacon Dad @ 11:29 AM |

Thanks to Andrew Sullivan for das Link.
- posted by Bacon Dad @ 11:30 AM |

. . . Lest you think there's any silver lining to this story, and that 'wake-up poke' was that sort of poke... well, there isn't, and it wasn't. There's no silver lining, people. The clouds are black, the sky is black, it's raining shit, and the ground is on fire. There's nothing good about it.

My wisdom so antiquates known knowledge, that a psychiatrist examining my behavior, eccentric by his academic single corner knowledge, knows no course other than to judge me schizoprenic.

The disarmament of rogue states has never once been accomplished by the U.N. or by diplomacy or ‘international opinion’, but is now being driven simply and solely by the fear of American military power and the will to use it.

It's a clear, warm night, and the 17-year-old is on his roof howling at the full moon. Furboy Zero can't explain the feeling that compels this behavior. It just hits, and the stocky teen is on autopilot, planting his feet on the gate between the single-story white house and the driveway and hopping onto the roof. Like the feline he feels inside him, he slinks along the black shingles to the peak. And like the dog inside him, he throws back his shoulders, casts a head full of thin black hair skyward and greets the glowing white orb with two prolonged howls. He's not thinking about anything except how pretty the moon is.

Jackass.
- posted by Brian @ 5:21 PM |

So we started cooking some sirloins that Jared brought up from DC. After a few minutes of cooking, we heard some weird noises in the trees; being outdoors, we figured it was the wind.

Until it growled.

Loudly.

Teenagers are a major cause of computer trouble, because they think they're so smart, and they're always messing with things and changing things and installing things and swapping songs and downloading disgusting porno filth that they refuse to share with their parents.

HOW 'BOUT DEM
FUCKIN' BLUE HENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- posted by Brian @ 7:51 PM |

Delaware fans stormed the field with three seconds left, then were herded together on the sideline before Wofford scored on the final play.

The fans then returned to begin working on toppling the goal post, and the game was called before a conversion could be attempted.

An ad for "Party City" was supposed to highlight a sale on Hanukkah items, but it also contained a hateful anti-Semitic message.

The advertisement includes the sentence "CC Hates the Jews" in large, bold letters.

The previous 'graph was an example of Hearnspeak run amok. Someday I'll write a column on it.

UPDATE - Okay, for some reason the comments have disappeared. I'm not sure what the hell is going on, but I'm gonna get to the bottom of it.

UPDATE again - Now they're back, after I edited and republished the most recent blog entry. I don't know what the shit is up. Hopefully it won't disappear again.
- posted by Bacon Dad @ 9:25 AM |

I've had matthearn.com for a year and a half, and he's been blogging since July. He gets rather more readers than I. I'm not jealous or anything. ::sniff:: Oh well.
- posted by Bacon Dad @ 8:27 AM |

I just searched "Iraq" on the NYT website. Not only did I find absolutely no reference to the anti-terror protests in Iraq, the search results brought home to me just how relentlessly negative the spin is on the stories that they do report. This is an absolute embarrassment to the American media -- even Reuters and Al Jazeera are doing a better job! -- but I don't know if they'll even notice.

Had these demonstrators been marching on the other side, this would have been a big story instead of the closest thing to a non-story. So why isn't it a big story when it's good news? Because they want us to lose? Or at least, because they are, as Noah Oppenheim suggests, consciously or unconsciously seeking "vindication" of their anti-war views?

In 2000, 35 percent of all federal spending dollars went to Social Security and Medicare. By 2040, barring an increase in total federal outlays, they'll account for more than 60 percent of the budget. And that's before you add in the prescription drug benefit.

In fact, economists Laurence Kotlikoff and Jagadeesh Gokhale say that a typical man reaching age 65 today will get a net windfall of more than $70,000 over his remaining years. A luckless 25-year-old, by contrast, can count on paying $322,000 more in payroll taxes than he will ever get back in benefits.

An irate Filipino housewife sliced off her husband's penis while he slept after she discovered text messages from another woman on his mobile phone.

Callers to the station, reacting to the news, offered helpful hints to wayward husbands such as never sleeping on their backs and always keeping mobile phones tucked under the pillow.

If you haven't, go check out the Chick publications. They are horribly, horribly frightening, and greatly funny. The parody above is total quality too.
- posted by Bacon Dad @ 5:45 PM |

A Villanova University sports chaplain and teacher has been charged with careless driving after an investigation into an accident last month in which he drove into a crowd after a football game between the University of Delaware and Villanova.

"What the situation was is that he walks with a couple of canes. He has some trouble with his legs. Basically his foot slipped off the brake onto the gas and he couldn't move it back to the brake," [John L.] Rutty[, deputy superintendent of the Villanova township police force] said.

. . . Township police also have requested the state retest him for driving privileges, Rutty said. He stressed that the state examiners' decision on whether to let him continue driving would depend solely on his driving ability.

German police charged a man with drugs possession after officers spotted a small quantity of heroin concealed in his ear when he entered a police station to check if he was on their wanted list.

Irene Newton, who lives in Columbia, just outside Richmond, felt the quake at her home.

'I was sitting at the organ playing 'Oh Holy Night' and all of a sudden I thought, 'Oh no, the furnace is blowing up,'' she said of the rumbling. 'And then it kept going and I thought the chimney was falling off the house. ... It was scary, I'm telling you.'

You know, Irene, there are some things you should just keep to yourself. Especially when what you say is being transmitted to the entire free world by the Associated Press.
- posted by Brian @ 12:04 AM |

[Where was this watch when I was in school? -bds]
- posted by Bacon Dad @ 5:49 PM |

He once shot a man to death in the parking lot of a bar. He served in the American invasion of Panama and recalled killing enemy soldiers at close range. That is not the violence that drives him to his keyboard.

He is haunted, instead, by the nine years he made his way in the world by slaughtering chickens.

"Virgil's description of the horrible abuse of chickens in our nation's slaughterhouses … has turned more people vegetarian than anything else we did last year," said Bruce Friedrich, director of vegan outreach for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

• Caffeinated Soap: "This breakthrough concept will make a fine gift for those people on your holiday list who do not have time to drink coffee manually, or simply dislike it. When these people need a quick 'pick-me-up' at work or school, all they have to do is remove their clothing, pour some water on themselves, whip out their bar of Shower Shock, and lather up. Then they're back to work, feeling refreshed and alert. This will be helpful when they talk to the police."
• Soft Claws Colored Nail Caps for Cats: "These are little plastic deals that come in a variety of unnatural colors; you simply fill them with the supplied adhesive, slip them over your cat's claws, and there you are! Bleeding profusely! Because we seriously doubt that you're going to get these things on a regulation cat without the help of a tranquilizer gun."
• Presidential Action Figures: "The same company also makes talking action figures of Donald Rumsfeld, Dennis Miller and Ann Coulter. (Really.) As of this writing, there is no Monica Lewinsky action figure, so we will refrain from speculating on what her 'action' would be."

"'I lived a nightmare for 671/2 days,' Baker said, referring to a search that included guidance from a white witch, four psychics and a professional animal tracker. 'Yesterday was the first day I didn't cry, and last night was the first night I didn't go out and scream.' "

Riiiiiight.
- posted by Brian @ 12:53 PM |

I have uncovered news that the Kazaa Lite K++ project has been shut down by Sharman Networks on grounds of copyright infringement.

. . . The program infringed on the copyright of Sharman Networks, the company that now own and program the Kazaa Media Desktop application, after the purchase of the code and copyright in 2002.

Nolan testified she had inched her car forward to put ketchup on her burger when she heard a car horn. Realizing she was blocking drive-through traffic, she said, she gunned her car forward and hit Jenkins.

1. Why do you have to inch your car forward to apply ketchup? Did she bring her own bottle and needed to shake it up? Wouldn't you also bring a knife to scoop out the ketchup in this situation?
2. What is it about the name "Waynetta" that makes me understand why she wouldn't have any clue that she might be blocking drive-through traffic when, um, sitting in a drive-through and applying ketchup?
3. When I have some bad mayonnnaise, it makes me put up posts about things that were posted the previous day.

• How the hell do you gain 12 pounds in a week? I've been alive for approximately 1,349 weeks, and during none of those units of time have I EVER gained 12 pounds. I don't know I've ever gained FIVE pounds in such a period.
  I can do it because I had previously lost about 20 pounds, so gaining 10 pounds of waterweight takes me about 2 days.
• There's so much damn red-eye going around in these pictures that it looks like these people are showing up to audition for Horace the Possessed Redneck.
  Kyle and Lindsay did all those pics. Not my doing.
• It's not just red-eye either. I mean, look at Lynn in that picture where Matt's drinking. No, not that one. No, not that one either. No, not that one... go forward to the one where Sarah's in the bottom. One eye's gold and one's red, and the other two are silver. But maybe those are earrings. I've seen red-eye, gold-eye, green-eye, pink-eye, blue-eye... oh wait, that last one's normal. But the rest aren't. Where'd this camera come from, Toys "R" Us?
  Buy me a Digital Rebel, then.
• I have another picture where Hearn IS looking down the bride's dress. It's from my wedding.
  Milo's wife's rack is prodigious.
• If Hearn had mentioned that Lynn was going to be at his Halloween party dressed in a catsuit, I would have made more of an effort to attend. I would have had to deal with Matt dressed up as one of the bad guys in The Karate Kid, but it would have been worth it.
  Lynn is indeed hot. I'm not familiar with what episode of the Karate Kid to which Milo is refers; I can only assume it's the hidden "Daniel-San Sucks Miyagi's Wang" one. Milo has a lot of videos like that.
• In the picture of Old Man Hearn's anti-ass... what is the woman in the center, the one in pink, doing? She's got her mouth open so wide it appears she's preparing to eat her young.
  That's Barbara. She's, um...odd.
• When Liz finished the sheep, did she then add Hearn violating it?
  No, I took care of that myself. I'm still washing paint off my junk.

I want to know who bid $1.75. Matt?
- posted by Brian @ 2:25 PM |

This classic unisex watch features a high accuracy Quartz movement, shiny round double metal case, and an Italian design, hand-crafted, padded and stitched band. Best of all, it comes with Barry's face on the face of the watch.

See? I'm not always a selfish jerk. Just most of the time.
- posted by Bacon Dad @ 11:31 AM |

MattHearnCSC: I would prefer ones that don't cover the windows in any way.
SKetHrn: I don't feel like arguing. I want these.
MattHearnCSC: lol
MattHearnCSC: What the fuck is the point of having a big ass window if I can't look outside?
SKetHrn: we can you jack ass, these are sheer-looking and can be pulled to the sides.
MattHearnCSC: Well, I wouldn't fucking know that 'CAUSE YOU STILL HAVEN'T GIVEN ME A GODDAMN LINK.
SKetHrn: The only link up on my page is http://www.boscovs.com/
MattHearnCSC: You've got me there.
MattHearnCSC: Are you looking at "Honeysuckle 60x84 Inch Panel" ?
SKetHrn: yes
MattHearnCSC: How is that "sheer-looking?" It's a solid white material.
MattHearnCSC: And I don't think it's big enough.
SKetHrn: I'm going to give them a try.
MattHearnCSC: I'm going to take a picture of your butt while you sleep and make wallpaper out of it.
SKetHrn: lol
- posted by Bacon Dad @ 3:37 PM |

I'm not a professional athlete. I'm not professional at anything. But I think I'm going to take his advice based on the research and interviews I've done while working on a taxidermy story for my newspaper. There are several reasons, but one of the most interesting is that as a taxidermist, I could own one of these.

Please pay special attention to the sales pitch that American Wildlife offers in the first listing on the page.
- posted by Brian @ 3:24 PM |

(Stolen blatantly from my jigga Corey.)
- posted by Bacon Dad @ 1:28 PM |

PS -- this will make sense after you read the story... what kind of idiot kids did this guy hang around with who couldn't pronounce "Buddy"?
- posted by Brian @ 9:00 AM |