It all began when 18-year-old Brandon Sample's family clapped and whistled as the Grandview grad walked across the stage.

It may have seemed harmless, but it was enough to get them tossed out of the ceremony.

Brandon's parents admitted there were warnings against making too much noise. There was even a warning on the program, but his mother said things were taken just too far.

BEST. STRONG BAD EMAIL. EVER. And remember to wait at the end, there's more...MUCH more!
- posted by Bacon Dad @ 10:09 AM |

I'm wondering if it kinda works both ways, as in, if I stick my router atop some kind of wireless reflector, will all the signals getting beamed into the ground get deflected upwards? see also HMMMMMM, things that make you go.
- posted by Bacon Dad @ 11:12 AM |

The US will fund the construction of a new maximum security prison and, when that is completed and with the approval of the Iraqi government, "we will demolish the Abu Ghraib prison as a fitting symbol of Iraq's new beginning," Mr Bush said, stumbling over the pronunciation of the prison's name.

UPDATE: More here.
- posted by Bacon Dad @ 9:50 AM |

I mean . . . shit.
- posted by Bacon Dad @ 10:25 AM |

Nevertheless, it is likely he will go down in history as the first man to shoot a Prime Minister with a paintball within the Houses of Parliament.

1. School holds contest, winner of which gets to throw a pie in the face of the teacher or principal of his or her choice.
2. Contest winner selects principal, shoves pie in face of same.
3. Contest winner then suspended for 80 freakin' days.

Your wife would like to go out if there were folks or activities she was interested in, but there ain’t so she stays at home and cooks up a single serving of Law and Order with a dessert of Masturbate Pie. A lot of women stay at home at night in order to masturbate to Ice T, this ain’t no kind of weird thing. Just let her stay at home and masturbate to fantasies of Ice T knocking on your apartment door all alone, just wearing his boxers and holding a bottle of Bacardi. Have a good time with your friends, let your woman masturbate to thoughts of Ice T. It’s nature’s way.

PS: Ice T’s character on the show is named Odafin Tutuola, if you want to work that into your pillow talk.

But are they edible for humans? Yes. Eric Day from Virginia Tech recommends a recipe that boils the insects in rice wine with star anise for about 10 to 20 minutes, then fries them in sesame oil with celery and minced garlic. They taste like "all the ingredients they're cooked in," Day reports, with the consistency of a shoft-shell crab.

The surgery finally came through after an excruciating wait, during which she suffered extreme pain just bending down and would wake up in the morning to find that her brain had shifted to one side during the night.

"There's no reason not to replace that as soon as you can . . . I don't like to have people who are walking not have their skull."

Virerio Franceschini, 35, reached down the back of the boy's pants and then smelled and licked his own finger before kissing the boy on the mouth, police said.

I fixed your typo so now the link works. -Hearn
- posted by Brian @ 6:50 AM |

The Senate on Tuesday rejected by a single vote Sen. Maria Cantwell's amendment to provide extended federal unemployment benefits to 47,000 Washington workers and more than 1 million others nationwide.

The only senator who missed the vote was Sen. John Kerry of Massachusetts, the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee, who was campaigning in Kentucky.

Key Quote:

"I can assure you that there will be an anchor tenant," Timothy Leiweke, vice president of the Anschutz Entertainment Group, said Wednesday. "We have had conversations specifically with those leagues' franchises. I don't think there's a better time to get involved with a National Hockey League team than now."

I should explain that my wife is Jewish, and I am not.

Notable Quote: "The muscle came off the bone and they're going to go in and attach it in the groin," 49ers coach Dennis Erickson said Saturday.
- posted by Brian @ 4:20 AM |

The while and until statements function smiliarly to the if and unless statements, in a looping fashion. (Programming Perl, Larry Wall et al, 2nd edition 1996)

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.

I encountered such a person today at the DC McDonald's, where some yuppie-ass silver-haired rich woman in front of me ordered a $4 salad and paid with a ONE HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL. I shit you not.

The cashier was so flabbergasted she didn't know what to do, and just kind of wandered around waving the thing, hoping a manager would notice. None did, so she had to go fetch one. She didn't have enough cash in her drawer to break the thing. So I end up waiting ten minutes while they raid the safe in order to give this bitch her change.

WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP. Stupid bitch.
- posted by Brian @ 5:04 PM |

(Brian notes: "What I find interesting is that while it appeared to be a swordfish that she beat him with, they just threw in a picture of the frankenfish that caused everyone around here to go ass over tits last week." True, true.)
- posted by Bacon Dad @ 9:32 AM |

The Rat Pack was the primal embodiment of the notion that we are not put on this earth to toil until death, but rather that we are here to swing.