Tuesday, January 25, 2005
 
Bitches
A conversation between my wife and I regarding National Wear Red Day, on February 4th, after our friend Mandy mentioned something it happening on February 5th. (I am dbsweeney1114, which commemorates the immortal D.B. Sweeney of "Cutting Edge" fame.)

dbsweeney1114: What was that shit about red dresses?
SKetHrn: It was about wearing red that day.
SKetHrn: Some awareness thing.
dbsweeney1114: Aware of what?
SKetHrn: i forget
dbsweeney1114:
SKetHrn: did you mean to type something?
dbsweeney1114: That's something that Milo invented that basically indicates that my jaw is hanging slack, and my vocabulary has failed me.
SKetHrn: You need to get over yourself.
SKetHrn: I dint' say I was goign to do it. I woudnl't do it if I wasn't sure what it was for, a-hole.
SKetHrn: If I refresh my memory by talkign with Mandy, then I may participate.
SKetHrn: So take your dropped jaw and stick it up your ass.
dbsweeney1114: As it turns out, BitterBitch, National Wear Red Day is February FOURTH.
dbsweeney1114: And it's for heart disease awareness.
SKetHrn: I guess I'll just have to wear red both days then.
dbsweeney1114: Just so we don't match at all, I'm gonna fucking wear light pink on both days.
SKetHrn: fag

Tuesday, January 18, 2005
 
Or a big Pol Pot mask
James Lileks = awesome:
In case you missed last week's truly big story: Prince Harry, one of those royal things of which the English are so unaccountably indulgent, showed up at a costume party wearing a swastika. Instant scandal! Why? Oh, some might find it a bit declasse for the scion of the British Empire to lounge around dressed like Hitler's driver, but really. Please. Maybe he was dressed up as a good, decent party member. Just because someone was a Nazi doesn't mean they were bad, after all. Lots of ordinary people were Nazis; you want to demonize them all? I know they did some bad things, but they suffered terribly in the war. Bygones be bygones, etc. Everyone relax.

Of course I am not serious. I'm just saying what everyone would say if he showed up wearing a hammer and sickle or a Che shirt.


Thursday, January 13, 2005
 
Next week: Klan hood party!
A man after Jared's heart.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005
 
Retard dies
Political correctness? Fuck that.

Monday, January 10, 2005
 
If all else fails, just make them cut a switch out of the reeds down by the swimmin' hole
Waste of money. The back of your hand works just as well.

Thursday, January 06, 2005
 
Please die painfully
There aren't enough knives in this guy's chest:
Watching contestants eat dead rats on NBC's gross-out stunt show "Fear Factor" so disgusted a Cleveland man that he has sued NBC for $2.5 million, saying he could not stomach what he saw.

In a handwritten four-page lawsuit filed in federal court in Cleveland on Tuesday, paralegal Austin Aitken said, "To have the individuals on the show eat (yes) and drink dead rats was crazy and from a viewer's point of view made me throw-up as well an another in the house at the same time."

The money quote:
In a brief telephone interview with Reuters, Aitken said, "I am not at liberty to discuss the complaint unless it is a paid-interview situation."

 
I saw this on Band of Brothers
Midwesterners and guns: a bad combination.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005
 
Bury the hatchet
Sarah's dad is in trouble again:
A Martinsburg man [has been] charged with breaking into a couple's home on New Year's Eve, holding them at gunpoint for more than an hour and making one of them play the piano . . .
[He] accidentally shot himself in the leg, ending the ordeal.

 
Get over it bitches
MADD on Modern Drunkard Magazine:
If our role in life is to make a better world, then I cannot figure out how this magazine makes the world a better place to live.
Because it's fricking AWESOME, perhaps?

 
What a keeper!
Seen on Fark Personals:

haaatt
The five items I can't live without: "Ritilin [sic], diet coke, parliament lights, alcohol, pretzels."

There's one to bring home to mother!

 
Do you think my Loretta Lynn is decent?
Achewood:

Image ©2005 Chris Onstad, I am merely using it to link to him, please don't convince him to sue me

I have no words.

Monday, January 03, 2005
 
Words of Wisdom
We're all God's children, after all. Even the shitasses.

--Jeff Kay


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